I’ve always loved to write. Expressing my feelings through essays or fiction comes naturally to me. The only sore point that exists between writing and I are the rules this process inherited over time. English teachers fawned over my writing, until they found out it was the first and only draft. I mean this with no offense, but editing seems like the most unnatural thing you can do to your writing. Sure, I’ll rewrite the same sentence, paragraph, or scene over and over until it’s right, but once it feels done I no longer question it. To some this is arrogance, but to me it’s simply trust. The connection I have with myself flows freely. 

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For the same reason, I can’t plan a story beforehand. I am immersed in it from the first word to the last, following the scene wherever it takes me. I become one with the characters, whatever they’re feeling moving through my own body simultaneously. Since I was a child this was the only way that made sense, and to this day I write with spontaneity just as passionately.

I’m not entirely arrogant though, there are notes of humble emotions somewhere within me. That’s what inspired this very post; I want to challenge myself to face the truth. So I wrote a short story about a party taking place years after the apocalypse titled In Between Worlds. I wrote it the way I always do, letting the words craft themselves. I followed them, big-eyed and curious where it would go and where it would end. I’m incredibly happy with the way it turned out. Nothing is left unresolved, the loose ends are all tied into bows. The language and emotion carry the reader exactly where I want them to go. It’s poetic, but it doesn’t take itself too seriously. Being both the first and last draft, I love my creation. Still, I do wonder if a story I planned ahead of time would be better. Would characters have more depth? Would the transitions from scene to scene flow more smoothly? The questions go on. And if it isn’t better, would it at least be written faster? Because I spent an entire day writing In Between Worlds and when I read it back that night, it felt way shorter than I anticipated. I want to know all the differences between spontaneous writing and calculated writing. So now I’m going to write a story, planning the whole thing out before writing even the first sentence, titled On the Other Side.

Since there was no planning involved, the first step in this experiment is for you to read In Between Worlds. Preferably this would be a blind experiment and I’d have you guess which story was planned and which was spontaneous, but on the other hand it could be better this way. As you read you can watch the events unfold, mapping my decision making as you go. Where would this story have taken you instead? Create your own scoring system so you can compare it to On the Other Side. This could just be for fun if you like my blog or my writing, but if you feel comfortable feel free to comment your thoughts here. I’d really, really love to hear them. In any case, I’ll be writing my own conclusion at the end of this post if you’d like to compare notes.

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And now, please enjoy one of the few attempts I’ve made in my life to structure a story before bringing it to life.

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Summary: 

A cross country roadtrip in which the main character is a girl that (unbeknownst to the reader and main character) killed herself and is now a ghost. Other people can see and talk to her if she allows them, despite this being fact unknown to her. She wants to see if life would’ve been better if she had moved to the west coast like she always dreamed. Throughout the drive she witnesses unique situations and by the time she gets to the west coast beach, she has an entirely different perspective on life.

Main Character: 

Grey  – she/her- 20

✯ Grey is 5’7 with long dirty blonde hair and hazel eyes. She usually wears baggy ripped jeans, band hoodies, and dirty black vans. She doesn’t like makeup or brushing her hair. Most of her peers and neighbors think she’d be pretty if she tried, but since she doesn’t most people don’t acknowledge her existence.

✯ Grey is from a small town in Pennsylvania where most people work for the local lumber mill or the mall thirty miles west. She hates this town and most of the people in it. One of the few people she liked was her best friend, Joselyn, who went to college in New York City. Lonely and spiteful in her hometown, she was unaware of how severe her developing depression was.

✯ Due to the accumulation of Joselyn leaving, her parents’ disappointment in her lack of higher education or employment, and her general hatred for her town, she swallows every medicine in the cabinet one night. The next day, she wakes up in her childhood bed assuming that the suicide attempt failed. Defeated, she decides to drive an old, barely functioning car across the country to start her new life.

Other Characters:

Joselyn – she/her – 20

✯ Grey’s childhood best friend. She goes to New York University, working on a bachelor’s degree in fine arts.

✯ Confessed her love for Grey at a sleepover, but despite the feeling being mutual Grey rejected her. This was the last time they saw each other before Joselyn left for college.

Crystal – she/her – 12

✯ She is in spiritual things and already considers herself a psychic, which is why she knows Grey is a ghost. Astonished by this experience, she asks Grey a lot of questions. Listening to Grey’s answers, Crystal can tell that Grey doesn’t know she’s a ghost yet so Crystal decides not to tell her.

Oliver– they/them- 35

✯ Knowledgeable about many midwestern legends, which they learned after quitting their job as a car salesman years ago. They inspire Grey to look at things through a different lens, to find new perspectives of everything Grey ran away from. 

✯ An empathetic parent of two, they share a half of their sandwich and chips with Grey when they hear her stomach rumble.

Taylor – she/they – 22

✯ A college student hanging out with her friends. When they see Grey looking at clothes, Taylor offers her advice. She asks if she can come into the dressing room with Grey to help pick out the perfect outfit.

✯ Attracted to Grey, Taylor asks if she’d like to get dinner. They eat burgers and fries on a bench near a lake. Taylor starts asking about Grey’s love life, which brings Joselyn into the conversation.

✯ When they see Grey’s body disappear, they try not to freak out. Once Grey reappears, Taylor realizes what’s happening because of a book she read about ghosts as a kid. When Grey can’t handle their conclusion, she storms off and leaves Taylor behind.

Timeline of Events:

1. June 17th

✯ Grey wakes up in her childhood bedroom, disappointed that she’s still alive. She starts packing up a backpack of things, including $2000 in cash from her parents’ closet, and steals an old car her parents keep in the garage. She follows highway signs that say anything about going west.

2. June 18th

✯ Grey wakes up in the car, unsure when she pulled over and fell asleep. She can’t find her phone so she assumes she forgot it at home, but she decides it’s best that she can’t contact her family or Joselyn. A cop pulls over to inspect the car, but when he looks in the driver seat he shrugs and walks away, which confuses Grey. She decides to just keep driving.

✯ Grey stops at a rest stop, filling a plastic grocery bag with snacks. Some people stare in her direction which makes her angry. In the bathroom, she’s looking at herself in the mirror when a little girl named Crystal starts talking to her. The little girl knows there’s something spooky about Grey, so she asks a lot of questions. After the conversation, Grey feels a little bit calmer. She decides she doesn’t want to be angry the whole trip.

3. June 19th

✯ Grey reflects on her life as she enters the barren, flat midwest highways. Mostly flashbacks.

✯ Grey decides to get a motel after crying about her memories. The employee doesn’t see her, but thinking that he’s just ignoring her she steals a room key when he walks into the backroom. She eats vending machine snacks for dinner and attempts to write Joselyn a letter.

4. June 20th

✯ Bored of endless driving, Grey decides to stop at a tourist attraction. A sign on the highways says to take exit 57 to see an old pioneer home that was allegedly invaded by aliens, so she goes. Once she arrives, she’s the only tourist there. She talks to the employee selling tickets, named Oliver, for a while. They explain the legend and then Grey answers their questions about her trip. Pointing at her, she hears a group of newly arrived tourists freaking out and saying the house really is haunted, so she leaves.

5. June 21st

✯ Highway signs start directing towards California, so Grey knows she’s almost there. She stops at a store to buy new clothes, wanting to look good when she arrives at her new home state. A girl her age, named Taylor, flirts with her at the store and helps her pick the perfect outfit. 

✯ They eat dinner together. During a vulnerable part of the conversation, Grey’s frustration causes Taylor to lose the ability to see her. When Grey cools down and becomes visible again, Taylor helps Grey realize she might not actually be alive after all.

6. June 22nd

✯ Confused by her in-between existence, Grey imagines what her life would’ve been like in California.

✯ Finally, Grey parks at the beach. It’s just before sunset, so there aren’t many people there. Grey sits on the sand and makes peace with her past life. Finally, she moves on to the other side.

Theme of the Story:

Living a life that you love can be as simple as changing your perspective.

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After finishing my educational planning practice, I used this outline to write the story. I copy and pasted each timeline summary and the relevant character’s description above the space where I was writing. And when the first draft was finished, I- oh, god- I edited the story. Yes, I read it over and edited it before posting it to my blog. Amazing.

Feel free to now enjoy the calculated creation that is On the Other Side.

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And finally, my conclusion of this contrast in writing processes. The first observation I had was that my style as a writer wasn’t affected. Spontaneous or calculated, the translation of my ideas and emotions into a fictional expression remained consistent. Both stories were beautiful and heartbreaking, just the way I like it. A more surprising similarity was that both stories took exactly the same amount of time to write. The outline I created didn’t enhance the smoothness of the transitions, although I admit it helped me perceive the linear progression of time better. My opinion of editing has not changed because even as I edited the calculated story before posting it, I still felt strongly about my original decisions. Overall, I enjoyed both methods equally. There is satisfaction in both allowing a story telling to write itself and knowing the journey that will be traveled ahead of time. The only advice I can offer after putting myself through this experience is for any writers reading this to try the challenge as well. As I said earlier, please feel free to comment any differences you noticed between the two stories.

More importantly, I find myself amused by a sudden realization I had while writing this post. This process genuinely seemed fun and interesting to me, which was my sole reason for writing two stories and one blog post all in just thirty hours. Of course, that’s when I remembered that I’m currently working on my education degree to become a high school english teacher. This seemed funny to me because last night, laying in bed, I thought about how proud I am of this blog and how each post is a manifestation. So here’s to manifesting.

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