The other day I shared with a favorite customer of mine that I was going back to school this fall. I told him, “I’m nervous, it’s been two years since I was last in school.” He sat thinking for a moment, trying to translate an Arabic saying into English for me. When the words were found, he shared, “The only thing stronger than fate is the courage to face your fate.” After I gave him his coffee and said a temporary goodbye, I scribbled the words onto blank receipt paper. When I came home, I took the receipt paper and taped it to the mirror I get dressed in front of every morning. Even if I didn’t, though, those words would still be stuck in my head.

The only thing stronger than fate is the courage to face your fate.

✯

At first, as we merge into our independent lives, we cannot always see the foundation of habits that we lay beneath us. More than anything else, we’re aiming to simply have a foundation at all. We’re proud of succeeding at the basics of independence: holding down a job, growing our savings, making a place a home. We feel far away from facing our fate, although we’re already in the process of it. When I imagine my fate, for instance, I envision art gallery walls full of my paintings and a room where a film of mine plays on loop. Somewhere along the line, the word itself lost meaning amongst the synonyms of purpose, destiny, cause, fulfillment, and saddest of all, the end. 

Fate is defined as, “the development of events beyond a person’s control, regarded as determined by a supernatural power,” which isn’t the same as any of those words. I wondered to myself after that interaction, how is going back to school this semester facing my fate? Despite the words resonating with me deeply, I couldn’t put together how it applied to this situation. All I was doing was taking two courses that everyone takes in the beginning of getting an undergraduate degree. I was merely dipping my toes into the process of trying to succeed at something I once failed at. 

It’s hard to believe, but it’s true that I was facing my fate just as much when I dropped out as I am while I reenter the educational system. It’s just as strange to think that decisions we make could be considered fate when, by definition, fate is something we cannot control. As I wondered about all of this in passing, while I did my dishes and laundry and journaled, I realized that was what facing your fate really meant. 

I disagree with the structure of capitalism, the fighting between powerful leaders, the fact that countries have borders at all, and most humanitarian crises involved with being alive right now. At the same time I know that I chose to be here, before I was Sadie Olivia, for a reason. We all did. Our true beings, whether created by a God or the Universe or the Stars, wanted to face our fate amidst the current state of the world. Likewise, when we narrow the microscope into our own lives, we find the same decision being made. My being chose the fate of dealing with experiences like having parents who are addicts, facing childhood sexual abuse, and having my third eye open in a world that seems so blind. Of course, as a human I would never choose this for myself or anyone else, but only as a human I must face this predetermined fate. 

There is no measure of importance of each event we face. After all, measuring can only be done of physical things in this physical realm. The experiences are something in between here and there, they do not take up space and so they do not have more or less value than one another. Choosing to speak kindly to a stranger is as powerful as choosing to go back to school after leaving it behind. I face this truth every day that I go to my coffee shop and watch hundreds of people come and go. While my coworkers and I joke about the fact that we only work there because we have to work in a country structured such as ours, I have found myself trying to make the most of this opportunity. In the future, I will have students for months and maybe years who I will be able to impact over time. But like I said, those relationships do not hold more value than the few minutes of conversation I share with a customer over a cup of coffee right now.

So, how do we face our fate? Despite the metaphysical concepts surrounding fate, I have found some things we can do in this physical realm to best equip ourselves for the process. Whether the first step involves getting an education, making a drastic change in your habits, reanalyzing the way you interact with others, or anything else… This is my guide to facing your fate. 

1. Manifestation through Creation

As deep as this sounds, I’m really talking about self-expression. As the days led up to my first day back at school, I began to create a bullet journal. A bullet journal is, “[a] system [that] organizes scheduling, reminders, to-do lists, brainstorming, and other organizational tasks into a single notebook.” Since I am a creative person, this works far better than using a planner. I create each page’s prompt to suit myself. The first page has a list of affirmations such as, “I am disciplined in my education pursuit,” and, “I am passionate in my participation in class,” and more that I read before I begin my school work. I have a list of things to do if I struggle focusing, like taking a break to do a chore or chewing gum. I have a routine for each school day so my brain knows when to focus. I have a page where I write the highlight of each day in a month. Another page is thirty drawings of mushrooms that I color in with color-coded emotions so that I can track my emotions over this process. 

Although I do highly recommend bullet journaling, this is about more than structuring yourself for the goals you have. Another project I’m working on is two paintings, one which represents my light self and the other which represents my shadow self. In order to understand the two parts of myself that can equally impact my growth, I’ve added whatever feels right to these paintings over time. The light self painting has a face with four eyes and blue stars in the top right corner, for example. The shadow self painting has a house with a roof that drips onto the ground beneath it. I barely know what these symbols mean, but whatever comes to mind is exactly what needs to be there. 

Writing this blog post is another method. Trying to explain your thoughts to others, whether successfully or not, is a powerful process for manifestation. The thoughts come to you specifically for a reason, after all. It is a part of your fate to share them.

Any creative process that turns your divine self into something physical is a necessity.

2. Combine with Others & Define Yourself

Determine what makes up who you are and what makes you not like anyone else. Sure, many things about ourselves are shared with others, but when combined it makes us and only us. I’ll go first. I am…

• Thunderstorms
• Hours spent making the perfect playlist
• A trash bag full of bits of paper from making a collage
• 3:00am
• Three-piece self portrait painting series
• My cat Peaches’ green eyes
• The protests I went to in high school
• Oregon
• Walk Two Moons by Sharon Creech
• My watermelon tattoo
• Homemade literary magazines
• “Everything Happens So Much” (a tweet I saw on Tumblr in 2014)
• Aspen trees

You can make a list, too, if that helps you. Once you know who you are when no one else is around, take that and look for it in everyone else. I once heard that when you’re in love with someone, having sex with them is like not knowing where you end and they begin. In my experience, that’s how I feel when I acknowledge my true self connecting with others’ true selves. Even with a stranger walking by, you can often feel exactly like yourself and everyone else in one moment. That will help you understand why your fate is what it is, and why you have to face it yourself.

3. Do What You Know You Must Do, Simply Because You Know You Must Do It.

Self explanatory, really. There isn’t another soul on Earth, no matter how much you may love them, that can know what is meant for you in this life. If you don’t know what you must do, then go somewhere quiet. Go deep into the woods or lock your door behind you when you go into your room. Don’t check your phone, pull out a tarot deck, or look for any other voice. Find the only voice left when you’re alone and listen to it.