Chaos is one of my favorite aspects of life, in theory. In practice, I find myself inevitably reaching out to catch the falling pieces of reality so I may put them back together again. Amidst chaos I find something that isn’t usually associated with disorder, something most people refer to as nostalgia. It’s not exactly nostalgia, it’s still something new (like the Adult Swim trend on TikTok where people make their own mid-show scenes or the show Bojack Horseman because we all know a famous 90s sitcom dad but we never see him like this). When nostalgia is more than a memory, when it is compared to the current reality that makes the memory look so delicious in the first place, it becomes a very strange feeling inside of us. How did this happen? What if something else happened? And most frightening of all, is the past better than the future?

Ironically, whether you love or hate your past you’ll likely still be with it. If you love it, the present may never be enough. If you hate it, you might always try to figure out why. Most people are one or the other because if the past is just the past, untouchable and unchangeable, then your current self is the last remaining piece of it. That’s a scary thought. Your current self can only grow now or in the future, as linear time would have it, so regret and longing are wasted feelings if felt too long.

Here’s a past / present / future reading for each sign. The range of time these readings cover can be subjective to the reader, so please keep that in mind.

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This reading applies to the Sun / Moon / Mercury / Venus / Mars. 

I will be using the Dragon Tarot deck, which I’ve borrowed from my brother because I love using new decks.

ARIES ♈︎

PAST– Justice	PRESENT– Ten of Swords	FUTURE– King of Swords
There is a sense of harmony in your past. Maybe a relationship with another person was more balanced back then. Maybe you felt more understood, more respected at your job. There is also a decision that was made. During this time of peace, where you felt as though the energy you were sending was equal to the one you were receiving, you had to make a decision about what should stay or leave. This decision, being in the past, has already been made whether you were conscious of it or not. So the present energy we’re going to read is based off that previous decision. Remember that just because it feels more chaotic now, that does not indicate that the wrong decision was made. The universe cannot survive without balancing order and disorder, and neither can you.	Whereas in the past you felt like you were making important decisions that had profound impacts on your life, right now feels the exact opposite. As if all of your power to make any changes disappeared, you are in a time period that is meant solely for flow. Be conscious in the present moment. Be grateful for the calmness that comes from not having power over the outcome. Your only goal should be to see how well you can flow with the inevitable changes that are coming your way. If you can find the patience right now to not run towards another, more stimulating experience, you can find what you’ve been manifesting on the other side.	When the calmness is over, and you’ve found joy in the present moment, you will feel accomplished. It will feel as though you’ve won despite the fact that you had the power to be this whole with the universe all along. The hardest part isn’t fighting for peace, it’s living with it when the fighting is over. There will always be a calling inside of you to fight for what matters in life, but this is your reminder to not always be at war. Violence is familiar, which is why peace is uncomfortable. Be comfortable being uncomfortable.

TAURUS ♉︎

PAST– The Tower	PRESENT– The Wheel of Fortune	FUTURE– The Lovers
You’re coming out of a dark place. Either your mental health hit a low that scared you, or the hope you once had for life was lost for a period of time. Whether or not you chose to introspect on your shadow self, they came to surface to teach you something. This would be a deeply painful lesson. Maybe you realized you were the one who hurt those in your past, rather than the reverse. Maybe you found the source of your trauma-based reactions, like hypersexuality, inability to commit, etc. In any case, it wasn’t easy and you may still be trembling from the truth. In some ways, this experience can haunt you even into your future. Don’t let it. Your pain is not a ghost and you are not an abandoned home.	Right now you can see things coming together. You likely have felt more connected with the universe. Angel numbers have been appearing more often, your intuition has become clearer and more confident. You’re able to make decisions for yourself that benefits your future even if it requires work now. You are on the way to what you’ve been manifesting because you were willing to work on yourself in the past. Right now, you may see glimmers of abundance on any given day, but overall you are simply enjoying the newfound confidence. Write a letter to your past self and thank them because you’re here now.	First, you dealt with the pain. Then you let it go. In the future, the abundance that is manifested from this process is focused around love. Your friendships and romantic relationships will grow stronger because you are more accepting of the love they bring. You know you deserve now more than you’ve ever known before and you’re not going to let it pass you by like you used to. You know how beautiful you are, how passionate you are. You will fall in love with yourself and everybody else too.

GEMINI ♊︎

PAST– Three of Coins	PRESENT– Nine of Wands	FUTURE– Four of Wands
You prepared yourself to put the work in, and you did. You learned the skills you needed, expanding your confidence as a person. Whether it’s academic or spiritual, the knowledge you acquired in the past has made all the difference. You are proud of yourself, however that doesn’t mean it made you ready for anything that may come your way. One of the difficulties in practicing any subject is that there will always be more to learn. Sometimes when you reflect on this time period, you envy your past self. Despite the challenges you faced during it, you now find that learning was more fun that using what you learned. The best way to stop experiencing this self-induced jealousy is to remember that you’ll never stop being a student.	Why won’t you allow others to help you? Now that the work you did has given you what you were manifesting, you celebrate alone. Or, if not alone, you celebrate and continue to take sole responsibility of continuing the hard work. Right now you hold your head high as if you’re not a survivor of a global pandemic, as if you’re not living in the collapse of capitalism as we know it. You just keep working, priding yourself on outdated versions of success. It’s time to incorporate others in your vision of success. It’s not about whether or not you’re capable of doing this alone, it’s about the fact that you shouldn’t have to. You’re the only forcing yourself to do so.	It turns out that all along, the things you wanted to accomplish were things that other, equally lovely people also want to accomplish. Welcome to the life of teamwork, the collective consciousness expressing itself in human interaction. You will aim to no longer take feedback personally, but rather lean on it. You will find yourself better at communication, which will feel amazing since Mercury rules your sign. All the blockages between you and your peers will be conquered by the love you develop for being a student of this universe forever. Who doesn’t love studying together?

CANCER ♋︎

PAST– Knight of Wands	PRESENT– Eight of Swords	FUTURE– Page of Wands
Your past was heavily influenced by masculine energy, whether in the form of a person or a way of thinking. Masculine energy is represented by individualism, power dynamics, and aggression. Remember that these things are not inherently negative despite their modern connotations. Whether or not this masculine energy was negative or positive, the important part is that it had a strong influence over you. Under the shadow of this experience, you found yourself making more self-focused decisions than normal. Or maybe you came into a position of power that you had not held before. In any case, this situation was building gradually to the present.	Now you’re frustrated. And who wouldn’t be after experiencing prolonged masculine energy? Too much of anything is unhealthy, including feminine energy. But in your case, this oversaturated frequency has left you with the negative impact of masculinity. Now you’re not just frustrated, but impatient, unable to find solutions, easily bothered. When you’re ready, let go of this energy. It may have served you in the past, whether it helped you make your money, communicate in your relationship, etc., but it no longer works for you. In order to manifest your goals, you must return to the balance of feminine and masculine energy that you once knew.	Once you have found your balance, life will find beauty in spontaneous trips, learning new things, and finding a place of peace within you. You will go to places you’ve never been and develop new interests because your acceptance of more feminine energy connects you with others. You will being doing all of this with friends, family, and significant others, forgetting how along you once felt. Love will no longer feel hard to come by. Small inconveniences will no longer rob you of your joy. You’ll walk slower, breathe more intentionally, and find joy where you thought it wasn’t.

LEO ♌︎

PAST– The Hermit	PRESENT– Temperance	FUTURE– Knight of Coins
The hardest part was how quiet was. You’re not used to the silence when you have to work by yourself, sleep by yourself, drive by yourself, etc. For a moment there, you didn’t feel so much like a Leo anymore. You couldn’t express yourself the way you wanted, touch people the way you wanted, feel things the way they’re meant to be felt. Even if you chose this isolation, it still rattled you. This isn’t to say you’re not equally energetic as you were before your hermit stage, but rather that you think about things differently now. You’ve seen the world go quiet and distant. It made you antsy. Now, you’re a different person but you still have the same goals.	You might be a little more mature because of the difficult past. You were forced to feel things you weren’t expecting and now you’re here because of it. You often find yourself daydreaming these days, wandering off into the past and wishing you could touch it. Things are so different now and you didn’t even get the chance to walk around and look at it. Instead, time has been going 100mph and not at all. And you wonder, if time is this flexible where will it go next? Which is funny that you keep wondering that, since you already know the answer. So right now you wait, sitting like an old man on his porch reading the newspaper, trying to understand what just happened without making it any less romantic.	In the future you will return to the Leo you know yourself to be, a hard worker who is constantly achieving new goals. That past version of yourself that you romanticized will, in a way, come back to you. I think you’ll find out what was so beautiful about the silence when it no longer becomes a choice. Sure, the world will be different, but you’ll never forget how it felt to be stopped in the middle of your sprint. It will be almost existential, the way you realize how quickly it can all be taken away. You’re going to work very hard in the future, but maybe not for what you thought you were working for.

VIRGO ♍︎

PAST– The Fool	PRESENT– The Hanging Dragon	FUTURE– The Sun
I imagine you bursting at the seams, thinking that if the world can blow up any second then why can’t you? In spite of the perception of Virgo, you allowed yourself to implode. Implode can also mean try something completely new, like a style or interest, but it’s really about destroying the sense of self. Whatever leap of faith you took, and even if it wasn’t out of faith but rather apathy, you hit the ground running. Life came at you so you came at it. It hasn’t been easy, but somehow you’ve been able to focus on the present moment and enjoy yourself in spite of the chaos. I’m proud of you for doing so.	Right now, it’s as if nothing is happening. You feel like you’re at a standstill with yourself. The options are, of course, infinite. That’s what you don’t like. So you’re in the limbo between trauma and purpose. You made it out with just a few scratches on you, and you can’t wait to paperclip polaroids of the scratches to your new resume. You are also experiencing confusion within your own feelings. You aren’t sure what is real, or if all of it is simply dependent on the moment. If so, then what do you decide to do? All these question, flowing through your brain. Reread old journals already.	If you’re patient enough to have a little bit of fun in limbo, you will find yourself exactly where you want to be. You will acquire the audience you’re looking for, filter out the unnecessary criticisms, and blossoms with confidence. Anything you’ve been manifesting will most likely grow bigger than you will prepare for, so keep that in mind. It’s okay to feel overwhelmed and it’s also okay to walk away during that time. When you get want, you’ll always find it didn’t do what you thought it would. Instead of having expectations, just enjoy the ride.

LIBRA ♎︎

PAST– Justice	PRESENT– Six of Wands	FUTURE– Two of Cups
You were feeling like yourself. Your identity has been unfolding and you’re along for the ride. A balance may have come into play, whether it was your gender, relationship, or passion. Timing felt right for whatever found its way into your life. You didn’t have many questions, no matter how weird it got. You were able to flow. Even on your bad days, a new, reasonable voice had opinions to share. So what if today you hate yourself? What if you love yourself tomorrow? It was as if you developed a unrequited crush on yourself, which was perfect enough to work. The self love was developing.	The self love created an environment where manifestation thrives. Therefore, even though in retrospect it felt silly and youthful, your developing feels for yourself changed everything. All that you want is currently coming, marching into your life because of your previous actions. This will be a time of enjoying a lover, an art form, a guilty pleasure. Practicing gratitude is the only thing on your to-do list right now, because everything is falling into place. Do not fear that you will lose any of this, that fear is not real. The present moment is real.	First you loved yourself, then you loved somebody else, and in the future they will love you. A relationship will bloom, whether romantic or platonic, that will fulfill parts of you that you didn’t know were empty. Because of all the self love work you did, you will be prepared to receive the love in full. Life will feel good, it may even feel easy. Do not let anxiety take away from the beautiful of this time period. You deserve everything you’ve gotten as well as everything you will receive.

SCORPIO ♏︎

PAST– Three of Wands	PRESENT– The Moon	FUTURE– Ten of Cups
Your audience arrived. Suddenly people were listening, but even more suddenly was you sharing your feelings. Normally, you share things in fragments of truth that illustrate a fantasy. This is me, yes, but me when I am what I wanted to be. You realized though that the only thing that is going to work for you is complete authenticity. You have to include the whole picture, even if it’s a messy collage or an unfinished painting. Others noticed this difference in you and followed suit. That’s the audience you suddenly had. Whether your friends, family, or coworkers look up to you, you are setting an example for those around you by being so vulnerable and honest.	The self acceptance necessary to share oneself authentically is more powerful than any manmade machine. So naturally, you’re feeling amazing. You feel more in touch with yourself than ever before. Your identity is revealing itself to you in the space between your gratitude. That’s thing about it all, is that you’re really just feeling grateful. And why not? You have so much to be grateful for. In this moment, you are able to see that even if everything is not perfect, it’s still what you want. The dopamine rush has come to a slow and you can see the other side. I can tell you are also more in touch with your higher power as well, which makes you feel safer. When they are too far, you hibernate. The suns out now. The guides are reaching towards you.	Your life is about to unfold before you. You will be capable of committing to people, passions, and places, which will bring you great joy. Your desire to run away from love will become a distant memory, one you may even laugh at. You are ready to become a bigger part of another person’s life, in whatever way you want to. Whether this means working more, volunteering more, getting into a deep relationship with someone, having a child, forming a club of a mutual interest, etc. You will have more capacity to experience the collective consciousness in reality. People will show you love and kindness and you will show it to them as well. It will feel so easy.

SAGITTARIUS ♐︎

PAST– The Emperor	PRESENT– Two of Swords	FUTURE– Six of Swords
You just wanted freedom. Well, you really wanted it so much that you fought for it. You would visualize it, in those moments of isolation, imagine how good it would feel to be able to take care of yourself and create your whole life. In those times, you would often forget that the universe conspires to help you achieve your purpose, so you would find an enemy in it. In your mind, these painful experiences were caused by a force beyond you. Is it possible to want freedom and an all-powerful “God” at the same time? But you did.	Now you wait. Like a ten year old trying to figure out if Santa is real, you can’t decide which one you want. You waver between the two, spending “freedom” days planning your van-life and “God” days manifesting true love. It’s okay to invest in both, to consider all options until you’ve experienced the relief of clarity. The only issue you could face is the expectation you hold yourself to. Sure, you can blame your parents, teachers, and idols for your failures, but you know the truth. The truth is that you did the best you could with what you had, and we’re all so proud of you.	I hope I’m not spoiling anything for you, but you choose freedom. That doesn’t mean you aren’t a spiritual person. Your perception of the universe in the past just didn’t empower you and in the future it will. It’s the decision to take your fate into your own hands that frees you from fear and in general. You will learn that the right people will come along for the trip and the right things will happen along the way. You will dance along side the universe, rather than watch her from afar, nervous because of how beautiful she is.

CAPRICORN ♑︎

PAST– Seven of Coins	PRESENT– Page of Cups	FUTURE– The Tower
You put the work in. You blew off your own fantasies, love interests, and childhood dreams in order to work for a place in the world that would you give a voice. There are many voices that we communicate through, and yours may vary. Money, sex, art, business, to name a few. You picked yours a while ago. In fact, you probably picked a few and attempted to understand them to death. This was your safety net, not a material bank account or doomsday bunker, but rather your own mind and all the things it knows. That’s why you put in the work. And now it’s time to harvest.	The only thing you were worried about missing out on when you chose a full-steam-ahead life is friendships. Currently, those are coming your way and in many different forms. You are meeting people who will stay in your life for a long time and continue to be of importance to you. Do not allow this to stress you out, do not worry about losing them. Some of them aren’t even here yet. Know that these people are entering for the purpose of supporting your life’s work. They will be essential characters in the future. It would be best to find peace in temporary things.	As a result of this new support and social connection, you will shed your old skin and become a butterfly. You will no longer rely on your old defense mechanisms. You will find authenticity in everything you say, naturally. This is because the foundation of people you met helped you love your own voice by encouraging you to never shut up. In the future, when you’ve been talking for a while, all abundance is due to flood through. No need to build a boat because you’re not afraid to drown.

AQUARIUS ♒︎

PAST– The World	PRESENT– Strength	FUTURE– Four of Coins
It was like the world was yours. You could feel how powerful you were. Opportunities were opening left and right, increasing your self confidence to a new high. You could speak easily with your higher powers. The boundary between anxiety and intuition was clear for you. If you wanted something, it usually found its way into your life. The thing about experiencing this flux of life is that it disorients your perception of reality. You saw an ambiguous future, usually one taking place in an unreal location. This was a good recipe for the universe to stir.	You figured out the missing ingredient: intention. Although those ambiguous, otherworldly daydreams were very Aquarian of you, it didn’t take you anywhere as far as the earthly realm. You wander, like a ghost, and the chant you moan is, “I’m from another planet.” All the earthlings find it weird, since you’re right here with them anyways. In moments where normally you would love to run away, instead you are now capable to stay, to love anyways. It feels strange, but the more you practice the more you’ll love it. You do not need your escape plan anymore.	Since you’ve decided to stay, you will finally have to figure out this whole currency deal. When you thought you might run away, it didn’t really matter to you how many numbers you had. But now you’re falling in love, with the world and with people, and you’re showing up for it in ways that require stability. You’ll be paying more attention to your material value, trying to take care of it like a new pet you’ve adopted. It’s okay to feel strange about having this as a focus in a burning world. You still want things and they’re still there for you to take.

PISCES ♓︎

PAST– Knight of Swords	PRESENT– Nine of Cups	FUTURE– Six of Cups
For a while there, you had everything under control. You were able to keep your promises, take care of your responsibilities, and still tend to your soul. Relationships once solid became tender again, which healed parts of you that had been aching. You learned about letting go and holding on and whether they’re different. You’ll look back on this time fondly, but probably not often. You don’t like to be in the position of power with others at any point, really. Having so many people that would do anything for you can sometimes get to your head. You’d prefer a balance, ensuring that you take care of yourself alone sometimes too.	Good things all around. Whatever you set your mind to walks itself into your life. Why so suddenly? Why not before? You always ask these questions because you’re always daydreaming about other lives. Simply enough, you are ready for the emotional independence of it all. Seeds grow easily in solid soil. You can spend time alone or with others and it doesn’t affect you as much as it used to. You’re able to show up because you care to. Like a baby cub crawling from its hibernation cave, you are ready to feast on what you so obviously deserve.	What happens next is all you’ve ever wanted: you have friends and family and supporters all around you. They’re there because you will be ready to let them love you. This is a one way ticket to the future you’ve dreamed of since you were just a bruised-knee kid. All the poems in high school and playlists in college led to this. Friendship is easy and there are so many beautiful people around. The world is changing and niche interests are expanding and people are identifying as their actual identities. It’s like all those dreams you have. Yes, there will still be bad days. Why do you always think those will go away someday?